1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
