You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
