im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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