Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
