Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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