I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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