Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
