I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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