I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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