If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
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