the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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