ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
