ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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