He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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