just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
