Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
