She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
