I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Randomize
