i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
