I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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