nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Randomize
