How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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