I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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