but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Randomize
