some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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