you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Randomize
