His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
