Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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