I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
where are you?
Hypothermia
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize