I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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