HIV tests are more positive than that guy
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize
