Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
