I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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