so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
