Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I party with great urgency now.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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