I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
