Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
