No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
