That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
