12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
