I would go down on you faster than GM stock
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
