I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
A+ Viking dick
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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