Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
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