Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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