They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
