don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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