pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Ladies don't puke and tell
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
