I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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