ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
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