I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
