i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
you have to choose: penises or morals?
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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